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HARD TIME KEEPING SAFE SEX  by Dallas JB 12/7/2004 at 18:05
I’ve been poz now for over 20 years I’ve had AIDS for over 13 years. I’m having a real hard time keeping my commitmet to safe sex and not give someone else my HIV+ semen. I’ve gone to some places where men have sex with other men and condoms aren’t coming up in conversation or use any more or even HIV or AIDS, nobody discusses it. I love how it feels and love the feeling of living on the edge, but, I feel so guilty. And, there has been NO swapping of fluids but I fantasy about it, o giving someone my HIV DNA but giving someone my sperm and feel that closeness.
 [ comments 5 ]


BLOG COMMENT :   Hard Time Keeping Safe Sex
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posted by   sf positive 9/25/2007 at 01:35
I’ve been poz since 1986 and have had AIDS over 13 years too, and have the same problem in reverse. I’m a woman but I want the same thing of that feel and closeness. I’ve only been unsafe once all this time, but I don’t have the community temptations you do. It is easy as a straight person in San Francisco to commit to safe sex by just shutting down in the isolation. I’m very lonely, but I’ve recently put up ads on PozMatch to find someone else positive. I have never met a straight positive man that I know of in all this time. I know putting up an ad and all is not the same rush as spontineity, but maybe there will be other unexpected rushes. I hope you don’t mind me saying all this as a woman. I wish you safe luck and safe sponineity somehow with someone positive. Its worth it.
posted by   ryna 12/29/2005 at 16:03
hi,

I came across this blog while surfing. ur posts hv been an eye-opener. I’m not HIV +ve but I’d like to know more about life after AIDS. How does it change in practical every day terms? For instance, how is ur career affected?

looking fwd to hearing from u.
posted by   Hammer 6/27/2005 at 22:01
Good for you sir....I thought you were headed to bad news until i read your whole blog....yes it is hard to do as my soon to be x wife who is negative proposes unsafe, drunken sex all the time and as much as i would like have started to and could never continue....So i guess that thing that has been accused of having no concscience does after all!
posted by   Dennis 5/13/2005 at 00:06
Yo,
This is a shout out from New York City. Check out my blog.
http://levico.blogs.com/_levy_on_aids/
posted by   jwilliamssr 1/3/2005 at 22:12
As a positive male, I can certainly relate to what you are saying. However, I feel that my life is worth living and I am fighting hard to stay alive. One of the reasons that I am still alive is because I have not re-infected myself with a different strain of the HIV. Yes, this is true. So not only are you protecting others when you have safe sex, you are also protecting yourself. Yes, yes, yes, I want that bareback feeling, but until there is a cure, it will remain covered.

Jerry
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